BRING BACK OUR GIRLS!

This is just heartbreaking, its over 3 weeks now and these girls are yet to be released
 We can't even begin to imagine what these children are going through, the kind of pain their parents are in.
I know most of us don't even know where to start from with this whole situation, but you can start with a word of prayer and let's keep believing that with the help Nigeria is getting, we would be victorious.

#BRINGBACKOURGIRLS

ASABE Episode 10

Elegant! Perfect! Flawless! These are words that come to mind when you see how graceful Asabe’s makeover was done, a touch of royalty could be seen as the lovely beads adorned her neck, these beads were the same beads Otunba’s wife used during her time, the beads are of a strong family value to the Otunbas  oh yea saying she looked pretty was an understatement as Asabe sat next to her  Dotun it was like a dream come through. Dotun came with his people to seek Asabe’s hand in marriage, everyone was present  except Madam Lydia who claimed she had to go to Dubai for holidays.

ASABE Episode 9

Asabe’s visa application was successful, and as a result Mr Dan and Otunba started planning the introduction/traditional wedding and of course the church wedding, Madam Lydia had no idea what volcano was about to erupt in her house, she deprived Asabe of the monthly pocket money Mr. Dan usually set aside for the kids, but Dotun always made sure Asabe was comfortable, at least that would be his duty soon.

Mr. Dan got some of the elders in the family to discuss the upcoming introduction/traditional wedding of Asabe, they were all very excited except for Mr. Godswill who was very inquisitive about why Mr.Dan came alone and not with his wife Madam Lydia:

Mr. Godswill: In as much as you brought a good news ,I still think you took the wrong approach to this, it would have been better if you came with our sister in-law.

Elder Johnny: What does it matter? After all the bible specifically said ‘ and two  shall become one’…He’s here to represent the wife and the kids….i do not see anything wrong with him coming alone?

Mr. Godswill: ehhhhhh I smell a rat oooo Elder Johnny

Elder Johnny: it doesn’t matter if you smell a fish, (and then he turns to every other person seated) please lets drink to the good news our son brought us.

Mr. Dan knew Mr. Godswill has always been close to Madam Lydia as she always made it a point of duty to give him some money even when he doesn’t deserve it, so he to some extent understood his what his issues were and decided to keep quiet so as not to make a scene by trading words with an elder and therefore be tagged rude.

Mr Dan knew there was trouble, he knew Mr. Godswill will try all his best to reach Madam Lydia and then he wouldn’t know what to say, he immediately called Asabe and told her all that went on,they agreed she was going to claim pregnant and not ready to terminate the pregnancy, everyone was put in the picture- Dotun and his parents, so on getting home Mr. Dan called Madam Lydia and told her Asabe is pregnant for Dotun and he thinks the best thing to do as Christians is to allow her marry Dotun ,as abortion is not an option

Madam Lydia: OMG!!! What are you saying Dan???????? Abortion is not an option but fornication is right??? Can you hear yourself, you < an elder in the church of Christ ,have you forgotten what the bible said about a bed undefiled????????? I can’t believe this is happening to me. ( she walked to the mini bar and helped herself with a glass of whiskey, yes! Madam always takes a shot when she is vexed, probably a way to calm her nerves)

Mr. Dan : Lydia you dare talk to me about a bed undefiled?????????You are not in the right position to preach that part of the gospel trust me! Have you forgotten how we met?????? And oh! you should be taking a soft wine not that strong whiskey, because I brought you good news(tickles her)

Madam Lydia: oooohh pls spare me! You definitely didn’t meet me standing by Sanusi Fafunwa street at night,did you?

Mr.Dan : well I am against abortion and as such this wedding will hold with or without you, after  all, the family in question has been our close knit for years now .

Madam Lydia: Wait a minute… you seem not to shocked by the news of the pregnancy, something tells me there is more to this news of yours…..but not to worry I will find out, I just hope you are not part of this conspiracy, because this house will be too small for you and I, that boy should have married Laraba, that was the grand plan.

Mr. Dan: You and who had that as a plan????? You are forgetting that Laraba and Asabe are my daughters and I love them equally, please don’t use your witchcraft to plant a seed of discord amongst sisters, its not their fault that you never  knew what it felt like having a sister

Madam Lydia: You can say whatever you like, but I am not going to give up Dan….unlike you I fight till the very end!

Mr. Dan: Lydia the warrior, please do not fight my daughter’s joy ….i beg you in God’s name…because if you do, you will regret the day you agreed to be called my wife…..Lydia DO NOT DARE ME!!!

Mr. Dan walked out of the living room, went upstairs with a bottle of red wine and cigar to calm his nerves as his wife really got him worked up.

Two days later the women wing of the party had a political rally, Otunba’s wife(Oloori) saw Madam Lydia and jokingly called out…..My in-law ba wo ni (how are you)

Madam Lydia: Madam, if not for the regards I have for you and your husband I wouldn’t have answered you

Otunba’s Wife:  aaah, kilode(what happened)….don’t worry we are coming to do it the proper way, they are children, they should have known better than to be in this position

Madam Lydia: how can Dotun get my daughter pregnant outside wedlock, does he know the shame that comes with this action especially for the family of the girl in question????

Otunba’s Wife: Yes, it would have been a shame if we do not have plans of coming to ask for her hand in marriage, but we are coming for that, at least as soon you people give us a date.

Madam Lydia: hmmmm, no date yet oooh, Dotun has to come and apologise for putting Asabe in a family way, when he isn’t married to her yet…..

Otunba’s Wife: My dear sister you should calm down, for God’s sake the girl in question isn’t below 18years of age and it wasn’t a case of rape…..this is a case of two consenting adults, you were the one talking about shame just now, do you want her stomach to start protruding before we come to marry her?

Madam Lydia: Do I care if you don’t come at all? Meanwhile how is Dotun sure he is responsible for the pregnancy???

Otunba’s Wife: *mogbe*Well you can ask him that question if he eventually comes to tender his apologies…..oni iranu oshi

Madam Lydia: yea…whatever that means…..*sigh* like I care

Both women went their separate ways.

Dotun the following day went to see Madam Lydia to tender his apologies

Madam Lydia: So what do you want? I gave you a better option for a wife but you made your choice, guess you just prefer terrible options

Dotun: well ma’am , I am sorry if I disappointed you. I just came to say I am sorry to have gotten Asabe pregnant outside wedlock, as soon as we agree on a date we would let yourself and daddy know.

Madam Lydia: Not like I care if you don’t marry her at all or let her stomach protrude before you marry her, at least the world will come to see how useless a child she is* sips her glass of wine*

Dotun quietly took his leave as he wasn’t very sure if she’s okay or high on some crack shit! Just as he was driving out of the compound Laraba was coming in;

Laraba: Hi

Dotun:Hey

Laraba: was told we are in-laws to be, nice!

Dotun: yea

Laraba: look, not withstanding all the drama that has gone on, I wish yourself and my sister all the best.

Dotun: Thank you.

Laraba: please forgive my mum about whatever it is she must have said to you,plus what she will say in future, you are now family , I’m sure you will soon get familiar with her plenty unnecessary drama

Dotun: * smiles* ok dear, I have to run now…..talk to you later!

Laraba: bye !

I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it.        -Mathew 16:18

3 Things Nobody Tells Their Boss, But Should…

Hi everyone,

 stumbled over this and thought to share

My company Sevenly has over 40 employees. We have executives, managers, assistants, and everyone in between. I’ve hired, fired, and managed hundreds of people and would call myself “experienced” in the employee boss relationship.

I believe work is special. It’s a place we should feel safe, happy, and encouraged. Sadly, I often see the opposite. As fear creeps into the employee mentality, many choose passive over voice, settle over growth, and silence over affirmation. It’s time to speak up. Your managers are big boys and girls. They can handle the truth – just be sure to deliver it with love.
3 Things Nobody Tells Their Boss, But Should…

1. Stop – This can be tricky and should be done in private. But opening with a statement like, “can I be honest with you?” will really help.  When a boss is working people too hard, saying inappropriate comments, and taking matters too far, someone must say “stop”. While we live in an imperfect world with broken people and failing systems we cannot always rely on our bosses boss to speak first. We must remember, courage can come from anywhere. From the CEO, a manager, and from you. You are not a piece of a machine. You’re a human. Your input is valuable and you should stand for what is right – regardless of where you sit on the corporate ladder.
2. I Believe in You – On the flip-side, there is a common belief that affirming your superiors is a blunder of professional boundaries. On the contrary, it’s quite encouraging. Every leader desires confirmation of their leadership. This notion of goodwill often times grows the relationship between the staff member and the manager even further. It’s a win-win
3. I’m not Happy Here - We spend 1/3 of our lives working. If you’re unhappy here, you’re just plain miserable. But don’t quit just yet. Ask to speak to your boss in private. Be prepared to share with sincerity why you’re unhappy. Is it the commute? Is it the pay? Is it a fellow colleague? Maybe it’s your boss himself. Whatever it is, be brave enough to speak up. It’s your happiness we’re talking about. Sure, this conversation may end up with you on the job market, but more often then not, you will end up with a fixed situation. A refreshed workplace and the ability to wake up at 7:00am with excitement, rather than dread.

Have you told your boss something risky? Let me know about it in the comments below.  

AUTHOR: DALE PATRIDGE

ASABE Episode 8

Madam Lydia stood there thinking of what to do about her predicament, she figured out that she needed to calm down so as to strategise better ,so  she got herself and Laraba cold drinks and said to Laraba

Madam Lydia: My dear daughter, just relax; this is not over, at least not yet!

Laraba : I wish I could believe these words of yours mother, at this point I give up, I want to believe it’s her luck.

ASABE Episode 7

Ladidi who has been waiting for her mum to finish her call to Asabe  asked;

Ladidi: So mummy was she the one?

Madam Lydia: No I don’t think so, well, she doesn’t have the nerves to lie to me

Ladidi: I just hope you are right mum, I just hope you are right, because Laraba would be so broken hearted if Dotun finally fell for Asabe.

Madam Lydia: my dear daughter relax ,it’s me your mother( beating her chest), I would make sure Dotun goes for Laraba, over my dead body would Asabe have Dotun , instead of that happening I will ensure I scatter whatever they have together  and no one from this family , I repeat NO ONE would marry Dotun!

Ladidi : anyways , I trust you mummy, you’re up to the task.

Madam Lydia: In fact I will call her now and tell her to be home this weekend that I have chores for her to do, at least to have her under our noses, let me see how she would go to coldstone with whatever guy and then also call Laraba to go make her hair, she would be accompanying your dad and I to Otunba’s wife’s birthday party tomorrow

Ladidi: hmmmmm mummy the master planner!

Madam Lydia immediately puts a call through to Asabe;

Madam Lydia: Hello

Asabe: Hello Ma,

Madam Lydia: Ermmm, I was thinking you should come home on Saturday to help me out with the house chores

Asabe: that wouldn’t have been an issue Ma, just that I have continuous assessment test on Saturday.

Madam Lydia: Ok (feeling disappointed) no problem, let me know when you’re done with your continuous assessment test.

Asabe: Ok ma. Bye

Dotun has been so busy making arrangement for his mother’s birthday, since he hasn’t being around for a long time, he wanted to make it up to her by making sure she has a fantastic birthday celebration, the caterers were setting up , the DJ was equally testing his instruments ,all hands were on deck, Dotun was in his elements, he decided to go check on the caterers to see if they brought all that was ordered and also get a chilled drink to quench his thirst, just as he was getting a cold drink his mum tapped him on his back and said;

Mummy Dotun: My dear son, well done, you have done so well, I really appreciate all your efforts, please have a seat

Dotun sat down, he knew his mother wanted to speak with him, about what? He doesn’t know, the question is why now, he was hoping this isn’t one of her many talks about coming home often, well he was just willing to do anything for her, it’s her day after all

Mummy Dotun: You know what the Bible says in Proverbs 18: 22; it says ‘he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord’ Please my dear son present your wife to us soon, I need to see my grandchildren, moreover you have to come home often so you can get a Nigerian lady to settle down with, I want you to marry from home oh….aaah!

Dotun: I have heard you mum, I actually have a birthday present for you

Mummy Dotun: forget about birthday gift, the best gift you can give to me at this age is to get married.

Dotun: SHH(Shakes his head) well, I insist on giving you this birthday gift

Dotun walks down his father’s massive compound ,greeting some  guest who were arriving and finally made his way to his flat to get Asabe, whom he had the previous day  taken to the salon to make her hair, took her shopping and on this day invited a makeup artist to take care of Asabe’s make up needs. Asabe was looking very nice, things that make up do though!

Dotun; hey

Asabe: Hi, well done, you look very tired dear

Dotun: Yea I am ! My mother wants to meet you.

Asabe: wow! Don’t you think it’s too early? I was thinking we could do this later

Dotun : she won’t give me a breathing space , she wants to see her grandchildren is all I have been hearing, please come and meet her,so she can at least have some hope of grand kids soon(winking at Asabe).

Asabe met Dotun’s mum, she was so elated that Dotun even had a woman in his life, she welcomed Asabe and upon knowing she is Mr Dan’s daughter, she told her to please  feel free and that she’s family and welcomed anytime.

Madam Lydia was busy tying her gele (head gear) ,Laraba wanted to empty her make Up bag on her face, Junior couldn’t understand what this was all about, so out of curiosity he said to Laraba;

Junior: Why have you chosen to look like a confused masquerade today? What’s happening? Is today your rags day?

Laraba: Just get out of my sight, before I lose my temper!

Junior: Oh well, little is better. But just in case you run out of powder and errmmm what do they call it foundation or fillers…whatever though…….COCO Bodyline now do home/office delivery (he said this running out of her room)

Madam Lydia ,Mr  Dan and Laraba set out for the party, when they arrived they were carried away by the breathe taking ambience that they didn’t notice in good time that Asabe was sitting next  to Dotun’s mum, Mr. Dan walked away from the women and joined Otunba and some other friends, Laraba was the first to notice Asabe’s presence and all the attention Dotun’s mum was giving her and she said  to her mother;

Laraba; Mummy!!! You didn’t tell me it was Asabe’s birthday!

Madam Lydia: What do you mean by that?

Laraba: Look at her with Dotun’s mum and Dotun…..OmG! I can’t feel my legs….

Madam Lydia: Take it easy, have a seat (drags a chair close to her) let me talk to your father first of all.

Madam Lydia beckoned on her husband

Madam Lydia: She has to leave here this minute! Who gave her the permission to attend a party beyond her class???? Is this the continuous assessment she told me about???

Mr Dan: Woman what are you talking about?

Madam Lydia: Look over there (pointing  to the left hand side of the compound) that’s Asabe….isn’t she suppose to be in school?

Mr. Dan: Please go and seat down and enjoy the party, she probably got an invite

Madam Lydia: from who?

Mr. Dan: I don’t know, am I supposed to concern myself with such issues? Look here woman, I hope asking you not to embarrass your little self isn’t too much to ask ?

Madam Lydia: Dan ! You can’t convince me that you didn’t have a hand in all these!!!

Mr Dan walks away to join his friends in conquering the so many bottles of Hennessey leaving angry Madam Lydia to keep boiling, probably hoping she doesn’t go beyond boiling point.

The blessings of the Lord maketh rich and addeth no sorrow.        –Proverbs 10: 22

Lets Arise - Tola Grillo

 

 

  Last week, suspected Boko Haram insurgents attacked a Federal Government college in the north-east and gruesomely killed the students. This isn’t the first attack on young people. Sometime last year another school was attacked and scores of children killed.

It’s typical for us to blame the government for the unabated attacks. If only it were Obasanjo in power, we say, he would have totally annihilated the sect! And Jonathan’s administration had the effrontery to continue with the centenary celebrations – despite all the chaos and anarchy in the land!

Today, it’s not about the government, even though their sins are manifold and unforgivable. It’s about you and I. Long story short, we’ve become a callous people. I first heard the news of last week’s massacre on CNN; after the initial shock and sadness of about 2 minutes, I completely forgot about it. I went about my very busy but normal life. I’m not you but I can bet you did the same thing too. Oh well, we had group discussions in the office during which we lamented and cussed government but we each went home to our normal lives: we had a home and family to go to and work or whatever to come back to the following day.

In this same country, this very country, life hasn’t been normal for a good majority in years! Mothers have lost their children and husbands; children have lost their parent(s); homes and enterprises have been destroyed leaving a lot of pain, anguish, despair, fear and anger. I was speaking with my friend earlier today and she mentioned that at a point in her family three children were in secondary school together at one time. Imagine that there was such a family in the secondary school that was attacked last week, how would life be like for them now???

And we go about our daily lives unflustered! We are callous! And that’s partly because we neither possess any sense of belonging nor responsibility to this entity called Nigeria. Our allegiance lies with self and family. Truly, the Yoruba’s are right when they say, ‘E ni to kan, l’omo’! There is so much to life than ME! ME! ME!          We are so pre-occupied with our lives that we forget what is truly important. Proverbs 17:17 says, ‘A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity’. The transformation we seek for this country can only come about if we are first transformed – as I write I recall the Boston marathon bombing in the US. As amoral as the country is the citizens stood, united in anguish and shock, to help the injured, comfort the bereaved and fish out the perpetrators. Same thing during the 9/11 attacks. When are we ever going to stand as one in Nigeria, stand up for myself, my father, my mother, my sister, my brother, my friend? WHEN????

Maybe we are getting there… Old students of federal government colleges met last Saturday to brainstorm on the state of the nation. Thankfully, one of the issues raised at the Town-hall meeting has been dealt with by FG, that is, the closure of unity schools in Borno, Yobe and Adamawa. Question is, why did it take this long??? Peaceful, non-political, non-tribal and non-religious walks also held at various locations today to mourn the killing of the students and to advocate for more decisive government action.

Let’s arise and do something meaningful and selfless – pray, fast, donate to the affected, volunteer in the affected areas, join a civil or faith-based organization, expose the perpetrators (for sure they aren’t ghosts!), advocate via social media (instead of putting up a selfie use your bb as a forum for advocacy!), nag your father or uncle who is in the National Assembly or Ministry to take action – LET’S DO SOMETHING! AND KEEP AT IT! AND NOT GROW WEARY UNTIL WE SUCCEED!

MAY GOD HELP US!!!

‘Faith that doesn’t show itself by good deeds is no faith at all, it is dead and useless’

(James 3:16).

By Tola Grillo