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Friday, September 21, 2012

APPLE LAPTOP....(LOOOOOOL)

Yes ke....we all can use APPLE laptop.....if you like make your own be apple fruit  or Steve Jobs apple.....all na apple..


CORPER KOFO (Episode 6)



The much dreaded friday is here, and yes my main boss,i.e the BDM is around looking all smart and refreshed, truth be told he's so on point today (yay!!!)
first thing  he did when he got in this morning was to call the branch marketing team for a short meeting on how far we have gone as per the deposit mobilization ....after everyone gave their report it was now my turn(emi kofo omo eko i can't dull),My report was very great (all thanks to Oga Goke) in fact he was so impressed with my report and said * Kofo, i'm really surprised you did this in my absence without anyone pushing you....waoh!!! well done* at that moment i started blushing...yes ke him nor go sabi how i take perform..lol. he afterward  gave me chocolates to share(which is the usual tradition in the branch ,anyone who goes on break/leave always comes back with things like chocolates to share) i did the sharing(lol,not because i like food oh jare,it was given to me to share)........

  At about 10:35am he sent me an sms saying;

*you will be going with me to see our clients (customers) in NNPC towers (central area) by 1:30pm and afterward we will go for lunch(that's if you don't mind anyway) *

Like i have a choice...i replied;

Ok Sir

I am just hoping its a harmless lunch..what is it with this man ni o aahh, well its 1pm now i need to start getting ready for the marketing/Lunch,God knows my heart beat has increased and my imaginations are running wild.

Will gist y'all later when i get back safely and unharmed.....YES UNHARMED!!!


#SO HELP ME GOD.....

Thursday, September 20, 2012

SHAKIRA REVEALS SHE'S PREGNANT WITH FIRST CHILD

Her hips don't lie, and now, neither does Shakira. The Colombian pop star — who is set to temporarily replace Christina Aguilera on "The Voice" next season — finally confirmed the rumor that she and her soccer star beau, Gerard Pique, are expecting a baby. "As some of you may know, Gerard and I are very happy awaiting the arrival of our first baby!" the 35-year-old wrote on her website on Wednesday. "At this time we have decided to give priority to this unique moment in our lives and postpone all the promotional activities planned over the next few days," including her performance at the iHeartRadio festival in Las Vegas this weekend. But, she adds, "I'm sure this weekend in Las Vegas will be spectacular and I will be closely following everything that happens there! … Big kiss!"

#Congratulations to her....

TEENAGE GIRL WINS A SEAT IN UGANDA PARLIAMENT

A teenage girl fresh out of school has won a seat in Uganda parliament,she is by name Proscovia Oromait,19year old contested elections deep in eastern Uganda to fill the seat left vacant after her father's death. 
some critics say the position is too much responsibility for a young girl. 
#What do you think???

LADY GAGA DEBUTS YET ANOTHER 'MEAT GARMENT'

The superstar singer is continuing on a seemingly endless quest to offend vegetarians with yet another version of her infamous "meat dress"--this time, in a showy corset version much more form-fitting than the original.
Gaga's "meat corset" debuted at a concert in Budapest last month and made a repeat appearance at her show in Amsterdam this week. The corset featured a strapless neckline and, reportedly, a thong-style backside...how comfortable that could be


#Now I'm short of words.......

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

MTN FOUNDATION DONATES 60 PATROL VANS TO STATES



I hear MTN  foundation   has   donated  60 security patrol vehicles to 11 states and the Federal Capital Territory to help them combat crime.


 Nice one MTN!

BUTT LIFT SURGERY?.....NOT ME---------OMOTOLA JOLADE

Omotola Jalade-Ekeinde a.k.a Omosexy has debunked the rumors going round that she did surgery to lift her butt, a special cosmetic surgery procedure to lift bum thereby making it fuller and sexier.
Omotola Jalade’s bum lift rumor started circulating when she was seen at an event recently and it was rumored that she didn’t look the same a few weeks back,naija bad belle shaaaa....all na packaging nor be surgery. 
I just wonder why people can't accept the fact that Naija women are endowed.....aaahhhh, we don't all need surgeries oh jare....Omosexy is a queen any day anytime.....#BEATTHAT!!!!

#Maami don't mind them,na God do am for you .........they can only talk they can't remove it*******GBAYI

LASTMA OFFICIALS BEAT A DANFO DRIVER TO DEATH


According to an eye witness(GIST), LASTMA officials badly assaulted a bus driver at Town Planning way, Ilupeju  Lagos yesterday afternoon
The bus driver's conductor and good Samaritans rushed his boss to an Hospital in Gbagada, only for the driver to be confirmed Dead on Arrival.

Sympathizers almost started a riot at the hospital if not for the timely intervention of the 

police.
As at time of this report, sympathizers and angry youth are heading to Alausa with placards reading "LASTMA, come and carry your dead body" among others

#EKO ONI BAJE OH 

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

TOOLZ A NIGERIA MEDIA PERSONALITY LAUNCHES HER WEBSITE !!!

Tolulope “Toolz” Oniru, the lady with the Amazing  voice that keeps us tuning to Beat FM on week days  for the Midday show where she dishes on the most buzzed about celebrity stories, launched her website - ToolzO.net, today, Tuesday 18th September 2012.
I have checked out the site and i must say its AMAZING>.>>Yea AMAZING is the word.
Well done TOOLZ!!!

EVER YOUNG KATE HENSHAW....


This is one celebrity in Nigeria i know that is always looking fit and young.....i don't know how she does it ,thumbs up to her......#Kate you go old?LOL........
Nice!Nice!!Nice!!!...Keep it up.

CORPER KOFO......(Episode 5)

Its a Tuesday morning....and im a little bit lazy....God knows i am not interested in this branch retail meeting that's about to take place, because i have not really done anything about the fixed deposit mobilization.
 Well, i guess i am not alone on this....but my case is a bit serious because i have been tagged *a lazy girl*, my only hope of not being embarrassed today is that Oga Goke is going to man the meeting...Sure he's gonna be soft on my case...(pray so).
  Meanwhile, my main Oga called me yesterday that he's back in town(shuuuu see me see wahala oh, na me send am go holiday?),why would he be letting me know he is back in  town but due to resume on Friday, I just in a very pleasant way told him *oh welcome sir,hope you are fine* , he replied saying *is that all you can say Kofo? (what else am i supposed to say? aaah egbami oh) and i braced myself up saying,*sorry sir ,is there anything im supposed to say that i haven't said?.....the yeye BDM said Kofo na wa for you oh...(first time of speaking in pidgin to me)well i missed you(huh? how possibly can you miss me< now i know this man has been fantasizing) ....i just smiled because i was actually dumbfounded..(me i didn't miss him oh,as a matter of fact i wish his holidays could be extended) he ended the call saying well,see you guys on Friday. Hmm ,i just don't know what to think about anymore ...Yomi has been accusing me of not calling him like i use to do,that's another wahala ( a very personal wahala, i don't like my Yomi getting upset oh)....

ooooophhhhsss just heard my name ....guess its time for the branch retail meeting...i pray i don't get embarrassed today ,meanwhile tomorrow is my CDS day...(so relieving that i don't have to come to this office tomorrow)..... 

........>#Corper Kofo remains a good geh .......

CBN PLANS TO INTRODUCE COINS DISPENSING ATMs

The Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) says it will facilitate the introduction of Automated Teller Machines (ATMs) that can dispense coins to encourage Nigerians imbibe the culture of spending them.

Mr Chidi Umeano, Head of Shared Services at CBN, on Monday in Lagos said that this plan was in tune with the currency restructuring exercise.
 
He said that the coins dispensing ATMs would hasten the acceptance of coins by Nigerians and change misconception about their use.
 
“To achieve this plan, what is needed is to facilitate the inclusion of a process called “add-on” to the ATMs.
 
“Good enough, the existing ATMs have the “add-on“ feature that will easily make them adapt to coins dispensing, “ he said.
 
Umeano said that the apex bank would ensure that newly deployed ATMs had the “add-on“ feature among others.
 
 “It is very possible to achieve Automated Teller Machines that will dispense coins.
 
“This “add-on” feature can be activated on the ATMs at any time by the CBN and this is not new because it is being practiced in advanced countries.
 
“This proposal is in consonance with our cash-less policy and also in line with the CBN’s effort to encourage Nigerians to appreciate coins, “he said.
 
Mr Dipo Fatokun, CBN Director of Banking and Payments System, had in August said that the apex bank would soon facilitate the introduction of multi-functional ATMs.
 
Fatokun said that such ATMs would also be able to accept deposits from customers and credit their accounts immediately.


#I THINK I NEED AN IRON MADE BAG..............

LAGOS BASED FASHION DESIGNER DISRUPTS WEDDING OVER HIRED GOWN....

A Lagos-based fashion designer, Theresa Iyamu, 36, has been arraigned before an Apapa Magistrate’s Court for allegedly disrupting a church wedding and reception of a couple, Mr. and Mrs. Augustine Aiyemimelo.

Sources gathered that Theresa stormed the church on the day of the wedding, demanding that the marriage be put on hold because the couple was owing her an undisclosed amount of money on the wedding gown they rented from her.


But before the fashion designer could succeed in scuttling the wedding ceremony, church securitymen and policemen bundled her out of the church.

Not satisfied, Theresa also went after the couple at the Federal Civil Service Club hall where the wedding reception held, threatening to disrupt the reception. She was overpowered and handed over to the police.

Neighbours wondered why Theresa was after the couple since they are from the same area in Edo State, Southsouth Nigeria.

According to our findings however, it was gathered that armed robbers stormed the residence of the couple in the night of the wedding and carted away valuables including cash, jewellery,  wedding ring, camera and others worth N980,000.

Because of what had earlier happened, Theresa became the prime suspect. She was arrested by the police at Satellite town division.

She was later docked at the Apapa Magistrates’ Court charged with attempt to disrupt Mr. and Mrs. Aiyenimelo’s wedding and reception.

When the charge was read to her, she pleaded not guilty and the presiding magistrate, Mr. A. K. Shonubi, admitted her to bail in the sum of N400,000 with two sureties each in like sum. 


#I don't have any comment on this....i had just leave you all to share your thoughts!!! 

Monday, September 17, 2012

FIDELITY BANK NAMED TELECOMS BANK OF YEAR

Fidelity Bank Plc has been adjudged the “Best Telecoms Financing Bank” in Nigeria. The bank emerged tops among three banks that were nominated for the award at the 8th Annual Nigerian Telecoms Awards held in Lagos.
Other banks nominated were Access Bank Plc and First Bank Plc who emerged first and second runners-up respectively in the Banking and Financial Services category.
The organizers of the Award said that Fidelity Bank was recognized for its overall contribution to total loans and advances to Information & Communication Technology (ICT) and Telecommunications sectors. In their assessment, the portion of the banks support to ICT within the period under review clearly surpassed those of its competitors.
The panel of judges made up of renowned Telecoms industry operators and journalists looked at major indices like the sector credit share, sector concentration and loan portfolio in IT and Telecoms projects and finance before arriving at the final decision to pick the most outstanding financing bank in Nigeria.

#BRAVO....

STEPHANIE OKEREKE- LINUS NUPITALS BRANDED BIGGEST WEDDING OF 2012....

The ‘fairy tale’ wedding of Nollywood star actress, Stephanie Okereke-Linus held in April 2012 in Paris, France has been featured in popular fashion and style Canadian magazine’s ‘Next Big Thing’.
Stephanie adorned the front page of the magazine in her wedding gown for the Fall 2012 issue … And She was described as ‘veteran Nigerian actress’.
According to the magazine, her wedding to Linus Idahosa was described as the biggest wedding in 2012.
#What do y'all think?

TIPS ON REDUCING BLACKHEADS..........

STEP #1
Resting your clean skin in a steam room or over a steaming pot of water for about 15-20 minutes will quickly and efficiently open pores, allowing you to gently squeeze the blackhead out of your skin. Remember, never use your fingernails when gently squeezing. Try using two Q-tip heads instead.
 STEP #2
This can be made at home or bought in a drug store and requires you to put the mask on your clean face and neck, waiting for a certain amount of time until the toxins in your skin are able to come to the surface.
STEP #3
Over-the Counter Pore Strips that will gently pull the blackheads from your skin without hurting your skin.
STEP #4
A Facial Designed to Open Pores: Contact your local day spa to see what types of professional facials they offer to remove blackheads and if it’s too pricey, ask for an early birthday gift spa day!
STEP #5
These four simple tips will not only help open your pores, but will also help you relax in the process. Relaxation is a very important part of any beauty routine. It helps the body return to a more natural state of being, as well as increasing your body’s circulation. It is also a great excuse to have that personal time that you have been craving without being bombarded with everyday life. It is important to find a solution that works best for you, your skin type, and your lifestyle; otherwise you are not going to get the results that you are looking for.



PS
All ye pretty girls ....it works,give it a try.



JENIFA GETS NOMINATION FOR UPCOMING ZFAA AWARDS!!!

ZAFAA Awards yearly recognizes the best of African Film and artistry so a rush for nominations and the opportunity to get the exposure becomes the scrambled fight by Nollywood artists.
For this year’s awards which will be held at the London Hilton in Park Lane between the 19th to 20th October, the list of nominees is quite unusual with so many unknown faces popping up. But one name that still made the mark from the recognized artistes is Funke Akindele who has also been nominated. She requires our votes for any chance of picking an awards so rush to the ZAFAA Awards site to vote. (http://www.zafaa.com/)

#YES KE MAMI .....lol

WOMEN SHOULD REDUCE THE RATE AT WHICH THEY TAKE IBUPROFEN OR PARACETAMOL!!!

The more often a woman takes either medication, the higher her risk of hearing loss, researchers said.



The non-prescription painkillers are widely available at supermarkets and are taken by millions every day to ease headaches and inflammation.

But a study of more than 62,000 women found taking the drugs just twice a week increases the risk of hearing loss by up to 13 per cent.


Using ibuprofen six times a week makes women up to 24 per cent more likely to develop some degree of hearing problem compared with those who do not use the medication. Those using paracetamol up to five times a week increase the risk of hearing loss by 21 per cent. 



#A word is enough for the wise>>>>> 

I WANT TO BE BURIED AT STAMFORD BRIDGE..........Mr Ibu

Mr. Ibu, whose real name is John Okafor has a burning desire.
He says 'I am completely addicted to the affairs of Chelsea as a football team. I love Chelsea so much that I don’t care if I’m buried at Stamford Bridge,Yes of course, blue is the colour of my blood. It runs in my blood stream. I will remain a Chelsea fan until I die'.


Very funny.....