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Monday, April 14, 2014

ASABE Episode 9

Asabe’s visa application was successful, and as a result Mr Dan and Otunba started planning the introduction/traditional wedding and of course the church wedding, Madam Lydia had no idea what volcano was about to erupt in her house, she deprived Asabe of the monthly pocket money Mr. Dan usually set aside for the kids, but Dotun always made sure Asabe was comfortable, at least that would be his duty soon.
Mr. Dan got some of the elders in the family to discuss the upcoming introduction/traditional wedding of Asabe, they were all very excited except for Mr. Godswill who was very inquisitive about why Mr.Dan came alone and not with his wife Madam Lydia:
Mr. Godswill: In as much as you brought a good news ,I still think you took the wrong approach to this, it would have been better if you came with our sister in-law.
Elder Johnny: What does it matter? After all the bible specifically said ‘ and two  shall become one’…He’s here to represent the wife and the kids….i do not see anything wrong with him coming alone?
Mr. Godswill: ehhhhhh I smell a rat oooo Elder Johnny
Elder Johnny: it doesn’t matter if you smell a fish, (and then he turns to every other person seated) please lets drink to the good news our son brought us.
Mr. Dan knew Mr. Godswill has always been close to Madam Lydia as she always made it a point of duty to give him some money even when he doesn’t deserve it, so he to some extent understood his what his issues were and decided to keep quiet so as not to make a scene by trading words with an elder and therefore be tagged rude.
Mr Dan knew there was trouble, he knew Mr. Godswill will try all his best to reach Madam Lydia and then he wouldn’t know what to say, he immediately called Asabe and told her all that went on,they agreed she was going to claim pregnant and not ready to terminate the pregnancy, everyone was put in the picture- Dotun and his parents, so on getting home Mr. Dan called Madam Lydia and told her Asabe is pregnant for Dotun and he thinks the best thing to do as Christians is to allow her marry Dotun ,as abortion is not an option
Madam Lydia: OMG!!! What are you saying Dan???????? Abortion is not an option but fornication is right??? Can you hear yourself, you < an elder in the church of Christ ,have you forgotten what the bible said about a bed undefiled????????? I can’t believe this is happening to me. ( she walked to the mini bar and helped herself with a glass of whiskey, yes! Madam always takes a shot when she is vexed, probably a way to calm her nerves)
Mr. Dan : Lydia you dare talk to me about a bed undefiled?????????You are not in the right position to preach that part of the gospel trust me! Have you forgotten how we met?????? And oh! you should be taking a soft wine not that strong whiskey, because I brought you good news(tickles her)
Madam Lydia: oooohh pls spare me! You definitely didn’t meet me standing by Sanusi Fafunwa street at night,did you?
Mr.Dan : well I am against abortion and as such this wedding will hold with or without you, after  all, the family in question has been our close knit for years now .
Madam Lydia: Wait a minute… you seem not to shocked by the news of the pregnancy, something tells me there is more to this news of yours…..but not to worry I will find out, I just hope you are not part of this conspiracy, because this house will be too small for you and I, that boy should have married Laraba, that was the grand plan.
Mr. Dan: You and who had that as a plan????? You are forgetting that Laraba and Asabe are my daughters and I love them equally, please don’t use your witchcraft to plant a seed of discord amongst sisters, its not their fault that you never  knew what it felt like having a sister
Madam Lydia: You can say whatever you like, but I am not going to give up Dan….unlike you I fight till the very end!
Mr. Dan: Lydia the warrior, please do not fight my daughter’s joy ….i beg you in God’s name…because if you do, you will regret the day you agreed to be called my wife…..Lydia DO NOT DARE ME!!!
Mr. Dan walked out of the living room, went upstairs with a bottle of red wine and cigar to calm his nerves as his wife really got him worked up.
Two days later the women wing of the party had a political rally, Otunba’s wife(Oloori) saw Madam Lydia and jokingly called out…..My in-law ba wo ni (how are you)
Madam Lydia: Madam, if not for the regards I have for you and your husband I wouldn’t have answered you
Otunba’s Wife:  aaah, kilode(what happened)….don’t worry we are coming to do it the proper way, they are children, they should have known better than to be in this position
Madam Lydia: how can Dotun get my daughter pregnant outside wedlock, does he know the shame that comes with this action especially for the family of the girl in question????
Otunba’s Wife: Yes, it would have been a shame if we do not have plans of coming to ask for her hand in marriage, but we are coming for that, at least as soon you people give us a date.
Madam Lydia: hmmmm, no date yet oooh, Dotun has to come and apologise for putting Asabe in a family way, when he isn’t married to her yet…..
Otunba’s Wife: My dear sister you should calm down, for God’s sake the girl in question isn’t below 18years of age and it wasn’t a case of rape…..this is a case of two consenting adults, you were the one talking about shame just now, do you want her stomach to start protruding before we come to marry her?
Madam Lydia: Do I care if you don’t come at all? Meanwhile how is Dotun sure he is responsible for the pregnancy???
Otunba’s Wife: *mogbe*Well you can ask him that question if he eventually comes to tender his apologies…..oni iranu oshi
Madam Lydia: yea…whatever that means…..*sigh* like I care
Both women went their separate ways.
Dotun the following day went to see Madam Lydia to tender his apologies
Madam Lydia: So what do you want? I gave you a better option for a wife but you made your choice, guess you just prefer terrible options
Dotun: well ma’am , I am sorry if I disappointed you. I just came to say I am sorry to have gotten Asabe pregnant outside wedlock, as soon as we agree on a date we would let yourself and daddy know.
Madam Lydia: Not like I care if you don’t marry her at all or let her stomach protrude before you marry her, at least the world will come to see how useless a child she is* sips her glass of wine*
Dotun quietly took his leave as he wasn’t very sure if she’s okay or high on some crack shit! Just as he was driving out of the compound Laraba was coming in;
Laraba: Hi
Laraba: was told we are in-laws to be, nice!
Dotun: yea
Laraba: look, not withstanding all the drama that has gone on, I wish yourself and my sister all the best.
Dotun: Thank you.
Laraba: please forgive my mum about whatever it is she must have said to you,plus what she will say in future, you are now family , I’m sure you will soon get familiar with her plenty unnecessary drama
Dotun: * smiles* ok dear, I have to run now… to you later!
Laraba: bye !

I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it.        -Mathew 16:18