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Saturday, July 9, 2011


For what reasons should people marry????
    Should one marry a man because he is handsome or a woman because she is beautiful?What happens when such a person becomes old,will one still be in love with the other party?
   Should one marry because you are so in love with the other party?If you agree with me ,it is most times difficult to differentiate between love and how then does one know it is love and not lust?
  Should one marry because you know the other party has a good job and is able to sustain you and provide adequately for your family?What happens when the job is gone?Will you still be able to look at your partners eyes and say "Honey i will stay for better or worse,we are in this together"?
   People marry these days for very trivial reasons;
       You hear alot of  funny reasons ,A man will say 'i love her thats why i want to marry her' and when asked by the marriage counsellor for reasons why he feels this woman is the best option for him as a wife,he starts by saying ,"She is lovely,beautiful e.t.c.....forgetting that all these are temporary.
 Personally what i think is most important to consider before any marriage is ***COMPATIBILTY****
   When you both are compatible,it means you share the same ideologies,values e.t.c.It means their is a perfect understanding between you two,i mean the understanding is so great as to the fact that you both can predict each other's actions over alot of circumstances.
   There are alot of broken homes today because so many couples didnt consider compatibility before marriage,so to keep our homes from gossips and the shackles of evil that has led so marriages to doom these days ,we all have to consider compatibility.
       LOVE is just there to sustain you both as couples ,but when you both are compatible ,you are able to live another and tolerate each other........

Sunday, May 29, 2011


In life generally, we all seek perfection:whether in career or business or as it may apply to different individuals,but we never ask ourselves this question"What effort am i making towards such a level of perfection that i seek"?.
        Whenever you come across a  young lady,and you ask her what sort of a man she desires in life as a partner ,she will probably give you the following qualities :He has to be tall,dark(not too dark)like chocolate kind of,have six packs,has a good job thats pays well enough for him not to complain that i"m extravagant when i ask for cash,rides a good car,lives alone in a cute apartment(because i won"t tolerate intruders like mother/sister_inlaws),cute enough for me to flaunt in public and so on............... i mean the list is endless. Who in God"s name has seen a man with all these qualities,LADIES!!! you can"t find all of these in one person.
       On the other hand , a young man will tell you ,he wants his wife to be very beautiful,have the necessary curves in the right places,not fat(some would even tell you she has to be size 8 or 10,should have a degree but won"t work because she has to stay home with the kids,very obedient,honest,well spoken,neat and tidy,be ready to take his orders,look very sexy and hot even afte five kids,very economical with his hard earned cash,cook like a five star hotel chef,and it goes on....................the list is endless!
          Have we ever considered the fact that in both Men and Women,we cannot find all these qualities in one person? Their is no perfect man or woman out there",LOVE is all about loving the imperfect person perfectly", do not be decieved, no such thing as a perfect man or woman exist!
         Once knew a man who got married to a woman who only knows how to boil "white rice", he knew her weakness and yet agreed to marry her because he believed that ,she would learn and become good at it someday,this happened in an african society where cooking for any man is vehemently taken as one of the criterias of choosing a wife!.For God sakes you have to know how to cook,how do you explain to your inlaws,that their son or brother will be doing Nandos,Mr Biggs or SFC for the rest of his life or gets a cook?But this man took a bold step for the love he had for her and went ahead to marry her and then engaged her in a cooking school,where she goes to daily to learn how to cook,she attended this school for a while and then got  very good at cooking. Today the husband is very proud of her cooking.
       Tell me, if the man had refused to marry her just because she didn"t know how to cook,would she have learnt? would she have been the type of woman he wanted her to be?
       Therefore brethen ,that Man/Woman can be who you want him/her to be if only you begin to love the imperfect him/her perfectly.
        "GIVE THIS A THOUGHT TODAY" for as imperfect as we are Christ loved us all perfectly!!!..................................

Saturday, January 22, 2011

'Inter_cultural marriages"

In some cultures in west africa especially Nigeria,many cultures still dont allow their kids to marry from another tribe and these has left most ladies single even at age 40.The first daughters of most families suffer this alot,this is because such parents insist on following tradition.Should we follow this type of tradition and allow our children suffer,even when they find "love"from another tribe?Parents should understand that it is happiness that is the utmost and not where the person comes from.An instance is the case of Emeka a medical doctor who is in love with Kemi  a banker,Emeka been the first of four children  is expected to marry from within  their locality,and his parents have vehemently refused to grant him permission to marry Kemi,because Kemi is a yoruba girl.This year makes it their fifth year in courtship.The two love birds have refused to give up on love.Kemi's parents too are saying she can"t marry Emeka.My point is for how long do we have to keep our Children"s happiness onhold?Must we marry someone from our village?Love for me is the most important and where you find it doesn"t really matter.